Assassin series RE: Shattered but mending
by Askre5
Summary: As they recover at the farmhouse from the torturous five month imprisonment at the hands of Assassin Leonardo, each of the Letter Wearing turtles must deal with the demons that still linger within them. In the meantime their own Sensei is faced with another situation. That in this world, he's not just a counterpart of one person but two.
1. Raphael – The burden of guilt

**A/N:** Story originally written and posted on 28/12 2009

Welcome to a story that was in the pipeline for a looooong time. Actually I considered writing that one way back in 2006 when I was still writing Shattered Shells and had actually the draft of the first chapter ready.

But then other projects got me busy and I completely forgot about it. I would like to thank Mouse who actually got me thinking about it, because one chapter in this story will touch on a subject I know some people have been wondering about.

What 2k3-Splinter thought of 80's-Splinter who is not just a counterpart of Splinter but also a counterpart of Hamato Yoshi.

This story is an in-between story for Shattered Shells and happens when the 80's-Turtles are still recovering at the Farmhouse in the 2k3-world. This happens shortly after 80's-Splinter and 80's-Donatello arrived at the farmhouse in chapter 16.

There will only be about five chapters. Each chapter dealing with the different turtle and finally Splinter.

* * *

 **Disclaimer and Legal stuff:**  
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles®, including Raphael®, Michelangelo®, Leonardo®, Donatello®, April O'Neil®, and Splinter® are registered trademarks of Viacom International Inc. Based on characters and comic books created by Peter A. Laird and Kevin B. Eastman.

I do not own them in other words.

This story is written purely as a homage to the Teenage Mutant Turtles and not meant for any commercial profit or infringement on copyright. This story will immediately be removed if Viacom International wishes so.

Other characters © Hermann Gunnar Sigurðsson (Askre).

AU turtles in all their varety are based off the TMNT.

The story, is copyright © 2009/10 by Hermann Gunnar Sigurðsson (Askre).

 **Warning: This story will contain, violence and torture. Implied and perhaps mildly described adult situations. If you don't like to see characters suffer this is not a story for you. If you are of a sensitive mind, then you have been warned. Story is rated T**

 **This story is canon to the Assassin series.**

 **To fully understand this story being familiar with Shattered Shells is advisable.**

 _Sum: As they recover at the farmhouse from the torturous five month imprisonment at the hands of Assassin Leonardo, each of the Letter Wearing turtles must deal with the demons that still linger within them. In the meantime their own Sensei is faced with another situation. That in this world, he's not just a counterpart of one person but two._

* * *

 **Raphael – The burden of guilt**

Raphael sighed and fiddled with the rock in his hand. Slowly turning it and staring over the lake. His other hand was under his cheek and there was a dejected expression on his face.

He and his brothers were still healing after five months of torture and abuse. Michelangelo was already returning to his older self. Donatello was the luckiest, as his condition hadn't allowed him to remember much at all. Leonardo was still the worst off, nightmares plagued him and he barely spoke to his brothers. Most of the time the turtle was in the company of his counterpart or Master Splinter.

Raphael himself wasn't really sure how he was feeling. At first, he had suffered seizures and memory problems. Then the Cyborg had been allowed to download his memories, causing his brain to reboot so to speak and cured him of that. Now he recalled every day of those five months.

The turtle had begun walking around and explore. He had found this lake but so far hadn't told anybody about it. Raphael was sure the non-letter wearing ones were aware of it but they never mentioned it. They seemed to be much more wary of being seen than he and his brothers.

In the end, the turtle threw the rock as far as he could and wrapped his arms around his legs, pulling them up against his plastron. He had somewhat begun returning to his old attitude, but sometimes he would drop a little in mood; he usually kept away when it happened.

"Ah so it's there you have run off too," a voice addressed him. Raphael turned around and raised an eye ridge. It was Magistrate Raphael who stood there smiling, beside him stood Raph.

"Yeah… I guess." He shrugged and looked back over the lake. His counterparts approached and sat down at the either side of him. Both of them still limped a bit, but were otherwise all right.

"I don't blame ya if you don't want to talk," Raph said putting one hand on his counterpart's shoulder. "But if you wanna, we will listen."

"What's there to talk about." Raphael shrugged.

"In the caring of your brothers, you are forgetting yourself Raphael," the magistrate said looking at his dejected counterpart. "You have to admit that you've avoided the subject of what happened to you during your stay with the assassin. You have given us slight hints yes, but you have never really talked about it. You always turn the subject to your brothers."

"We are not pushing you to talk, just lettin' you know that we are here if you need it," Raph added in.

"Well… I got out easy…" their counterpart muttered and sunk his head.

"No you didn't," the magistrate corrected him. "You were injected by a formula that caused seizures in you and severe memory problems. And from what we have gathered from what little you've told us, The Demolisher regularly beat you up and hunted you."

Raphael winched when the older turtle reminded him of what he had gone through. That was true; the Demolisher had spent almost daily either beating on him or Donatello. If it wasn't beating then it was hunting which often ended in beatings. Thanks to his condition back then, the usually R-wearing turtle hadn't been able to do much at all against his tormentor.

"The Demolisher was pretty tough, yeah he wasn't a ninja but he was damn strong and could defend himself well enough," Raph remarked with a snort. "Knew the basics in handling a sai too."

"Yes, but then again the Demolisher had military training. Chances are that in his world many fighting styles were covered in their battle training," the magistrate suggested and now lay down on the grass, hands behind his head.

"He can be just as scary as the assassin," Raphael whispered hugging the legs tighter. His counterparts looked at him questionably but didn't say a word otherwise.

* * *

 _"What is happening to me." Raphael grabbed his head and shut his eyes tight. He had just risen up from the floor, unknowingly having had a seizure attack. The turtle was shivering and soon had wrapped the arms around himself._

 _"That's your counterpart." The chilly voice of the assassin reached his ears. Raphael slowly turned around and opened his eyes._

 _The black clad one stood in front of the transparent cell door with hands on his hips, beside him stood another turtle, bigger and more muscular. The stranger was very dark green, wearing a blood-red mask and camouflage pants held up with a blue belt. He carried on it explosives, two guns, combat knife and a sai. Strapped to his back was a shotgun and the strap itself had cartridges._

 _"Doesn't look very tough," the unknown reptile snorted, his voice was deep and rough, slightly rusty and with a hint of Japanese accent in it._

 _"Yeah well… I kind of drugged him and the drug apparently has gone a little haywire in him," the assassin explained with a shrug._

 _"W-w-who are you?" Raphael whispered, the stranger's eyes narrowed on him but the black-clad turtle smirked._

 _"This Raphael, is your counterpart. Demolisher Raphael or also known simply as the Demolisher. He's an explosive expert and the reason you haven't been seeing him already is because he's been busy around," Assassin Leonardo explained._

 _"All right, let's see what the little punk can do," the Demolisher grunted and soon the door slid open._

 _Raphael frowned a little and realized this might just be his only chance. Suddenly the naked turtle jumped up and tried to dart off. Unfortunately, his counterpart was already in his way and managed to grab his arm. The ninja tried to chop at the hand but soon found himself held in a bear hug._

 _"Well, well looks like the little shrimp got some spunk after all." He heard his counterpart chuckle. Raphael tried to struggle but soon found out that the Demolisher was many times stronger than him. His condition didn't help much either._

 _"Let me go you big oaf!" Raphael growled and tried one more time to pry himself loose._

 _"What did you call me?" his counterpart asked with a growl. The smaller turtle found soon a strong arm around the neck that pressed at it._

 _"Gah…" Raphael gasped for air._

 _"What did you call me?" the Demolisher demanded louder and tightened his air choking hold._

 _"Big… oaf," his prisoner peeped and finally gave up on escaping._

 _"Want to find out how quickly this 'big' oaf' can snap your scrawny neck?" the blood-red clad turtle snarled. The turtle he held almost hung limp._

 _"N… no," Raphael squeaked when his tormentor tightened the hold even further._

 _"Then you are from now on going to call me sir, got that shrimp?" the Demolisher snapped._

 _"GOT IT?!" he snarled when there was no response._

 _"Y-yes… sir!" the smaller reptile forced out of himself._

 _Then finally Raphael was let go and the ninja fell down to the floor wheezing and shaking. Suddenly a heavy booted foot kicked him hard in the plastron. The turtle yelped and now lay curled up on the floor holding his soar stomach plates._

 _"Huh, this wimp is pathetic," the Demolisher growled, narrowing his eyes on the groaning form he stood over. "But I think I can find some way to have fun with him."_

* * *

The magistrate and Raph stared both shocked and disturbed at their smaller counterpart. Raphael hugged his legs tighter; he had just confessed his first meeting with the Demolisher.

"Damn that bastard," the red masked turtle growled and hammered one fist on the ground.

"He wasn't quite like the assassin though," Raphael whispered. "He seemed mostly interested in the intense workout… his form of torture was beating me up. He didn't try to manipulate me or things like that."

"Still doesn't change the fact that he did torture you," the magistrate reminded him, serious expression now on his face.

"I know… I know," his counterpart muttered.

* * *

 _It was like being hit by a sledgehammer; Raphael was thrown few meters back and crashed hard on the ground. His whole head swam and his beak was in roaring pain. Heavy footsteps approached and soon an army boot pressed hard at his plastron. Glaring down at him was the Demolisher._

 _"Jeez and you call yourself a ninja?" the larger turtle growled. "We've barely fought for five minutes."_

 _"All right get up, let's try this again," Demolisher Raphael grunted and stepped off his counterpart._

 _The other Raphael slowly rose up, shaking a bit. He got into a fighting position and his counterpart almost immediately attacked. The ninja was truly in no condition to fight, he couldn't block the rock hard punch. It hit him in the plastron and then the larger reptile gave him a right hook on the head._

 _"Pathetic, your brother gives more fight than you," the blood-red masked turtle snarled._

 _"Donatello," Raphael whispered._

 _He remembered seeing his brother yesterday. It had been horrifying, they did something to him and Donatello was now bulkier and utterly mad. The usually purple clad turtle hadn't even recognized him. Tried to break out of his chains with growls and snarls, Raphael had been pretty sure that his sibling would have attacked him if not restrained._

 _The ninja was suddenly picked up roughly and punched right back down. The smaller turtle yelped in pain and cried out when his counterpart kicked him. The Demolisher growled and grabbed up a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He lit one and began puffing on it. He still glared at Raphael._

 _"Well if you aren't going to fight properly, I guess I'll have to use you for a punching bag instead," he snorted as the smoke blew out of his nostrils. The ninja didn't respond, he was shaking badly and out of control._

 _Shaking his head the Demolisher stepped back and waited until Raphael had stopped flailing around. Then he approached, crouched down and put the ninja in recovery position from his seizure. The camouflage-pants wearing turtle then rose back up and stepped back. Slowly his counterpart came around._

 _Raphael groaned and turned to lay on his back, he spotted the Demolisher still standing over him and flinched. The other reptile snorted and threw the still lit cigarette stub right down on the ninja's beak._

 _"OW!" the turtle cried when the hot glow landed on him. He quickly laid a hand over the spot the cigarette had landed on._

 _"It will hurt a lot more later, but enough for now," the Demolisher grunted and suddenly lifted his right foot and slammed it on Raphael's head, knocking the smaller ninja out._

* * *

"That was the breeze," Raphael muttered staring over the lake, not looking at his counterparts. The magistrate rose up to sit and eyed the smaller turtle concerned. Raph was growling low some cures, aimed at their blood-red masked double.

"He would sometimes string me up and use me for an actual punching bag. He never hit hard enough to break anything, but… it hurt like… I was in pain for the rest of the time he actually allowed me to rest," the naked turtle confessed.

"Then the hunts begun," he whispered this sentence so low that his counterparts had to strain their non-existent ears to hear him.

* * *

 _'Where are we going,' Raphael thought as the Demolisher dragged him towards the edge of the forest. Roughly, the ninja was shoved towards the woods._

 _Confused the smaller reptile glanced back and his eyes bulged out when seeing his counterpart handling a gun. The blood-red masked one was examining it casually, checking if it was loaded and the security was off. Then he looked up._

 _"Run!" The Demolisher ordered._

 _"W-what?" Raphael frowned confused._

 _"Run!" his counterpart repeated with a snarl, when his counterpart still didn't comply, he aimed the gun._

 _BLAM!_

 _"AH! You're c-crazy!" Raphael jumped as the dirt was thrown up right in front of him where the bullet landed._

 _"RUN!" The Demolisher roared and aimed the gun this time at the ninja. The younger reptile realized he might just get shot if he stood there and thus darted into the woods._

 _Raphael lost all track of time while trying to flee in the forest. He was pretty sure the Demolisher was right behind him at every turn. So far though the only confirmation he had gotten was a gun shot few minutes ago. It had not been close, indicating that his counterpart had mistaken something for him._

 _The usually R-wearing turtle wasn't sure how much longer he could go on in his condition. Nevertheless, he kept running, not daring to find out what would happen if he was caught._

* * *

Raph and the magistrate looked at each other and then back to their counterpart. Raphael had zoned out, just stared now wide eyed over the lake. He looked as if he just remembered something just too terrifying to tell.

"T-there wasn't just one hunt… there were many," Raphael finally spoke after a while and now buried his face in his knees. "Sometimes he just had me run… until I fainted. Or he actually hunted me down and if he caught me… he beat me up."

Magistrate Raphael scooted a little closer and put one hand on his counterpart's shoulder. The smaller turtle was now crying bitterly and trembling.

"Let it all out Raphael. At least you are out of there," the brown-shirt clad reptile said soothingly. Slowly Raphael managed to calm down; he sniffled and began drying the tears from his face. The magistrate let go of his shoulder but kept close.

"Man I should have stuck my sai where the sun doesn't shine on that bastard," Raph grunted slamming his right fist into the open left palm.

"I'm going to have to see if I can't dig up some more on that Demolisher when I get back to the office. What I did get didn't exactly mention psychotic tendencies. Then again it's surprising what some people can do sometimes." The brown-shirt wearing turtle rubbed his chin in thought. "And he is responsible for the death of eight people in his world."

"What?" Raphael blinked, but his red-masked counterpart nodded.

"Yeah you mentioned something about that," the non-letter wearing one said.

"Yes, Demolisher Raphael was an explosive expert in his world's military. During an experiment, eight civilians were killed. The Demolisher was found guilty of manslaughter since he knew that there was a risk of people being around," the magistrate explained to the naked turtle.

"Yeah that makes me feel better to know." Raphael gulped and hugged his legs tighter. His magistrate counterpart patted him on the shoulder.

"Sorry," he apologized.

"Maybe we should you know start talkin' about something else." Raph shrugged; suddenly he pulled out one of his sai and handed it to the usually R-Wearing turtle.

"Huh?" the naked ninja eyed the weapon unsure then his red-wearing counterpart.

"Come on, I want to see how you do. You did use sai your self didn't ya?" the non-letter wearing one grinned.

Slowly Raphael accepted the blade and for a moment weighted it in his hand. Then he rose up and stepped a bit closer to the lake. The ninja swallowed something and glanced back at his counterparts who just watched, still seated. Calming himself down a bit the standing reptile began a kata that required only a single sai.

It was like slipping into old shoes, the familiar movements came to him right away and the weapon in his hand was moved expertly. The turtle actually found himself relax a bit as he picked up the pace of the exercise.

"Looks like he hasn't lost his touch. Here try two." Raph then threw the second sai towards his counterpart.

Raphael caught it and dropped into a kata meant for two sai. Concentrating on it and nothing else, the memories of his torturous stay just seemed to be so distant and unimportant.

He finished and his counterparts applauded. For once the naked turtle actually grinned and bowed. He returned the weapons to Raph who had stood up, so did the magistrate. The red-masked ninja belted his sai but then gave the smaller turtle a light punch on the plastron.

"And you can ask to borrow them anytime, whenever your feel like doin' some more," the non-letter wearing ninja offered. "Somehow think it's good for ya."

"Gee thanks." Raphael nodded smiling now. He felt much better but there was still some lingering sorrow in his eyes.

 **End Raphael**

* * *

 **A/N:** I was very glad to write this chapter because of all my villain turtles, D-Raph was turning the most popular and there were even people who thought he wasn't that bad. I really was glad to finally properly show it that he was mildly psycotic, this wasn't a nice guy, he was just as bad as A-Leo and E-Don, he was just not as extreme as them and more of a follow the flow and following orders kind of villain. Some people seemed to have completely forgotten that he tormented 80's-Raphael and is to him as A-leo is to 80's-Leonardo. Sure D-Raph didn't sexually abuse 80's Raph but you don't have to be sexually abused by someone to become mortally afraid of that person.


	2. Michelangelo – The burden of shame

**A/N:** Chapter originally written and posted on 30/12 2009

Here is chapter two of this particular story. It focuses on 80's-Mike and we get a bit more insight on what he went through during his time as a prisoner

* * *

 **Michelangelo – The burden of shame**

"And up you go." Michelangelo grinned and lifted the giggling little turtle girl. Then he lowered her back down. "And down you go."

The once M-wearing turtle lay on the floor in the living room of the farmhouse, he was playing with little Michelle, the Cyborg's daughter/niece. Currently playing what he called 'elevator' where he would lift and lower the girl.

"And up you go again," the ninja said and once more Michelle was lifted up, she squealed in joy. Never before had the girl had so much attention. Either of the Michelangelos spent a lot of time playing with her. It was especially the recovering turtle that had latched onto her.

"Babu bee, Mi-ge-ange-o," she squeaked as Michelangelo lowered her back down.

"That's my name micro-dudette, don't wear it out." The ninja chuckled. He sat her down on his plastron, the girl started to bounce up and down giggling.

"I hate to spoil the fun you two are having," the cyborg's wife appeared, watching with a warm smile. "But it's time for someone's nap."

"Oh that's okay, I can do that." Michelangelo grabbed Michelle up and jumped to his feet.

"I thought you might, well you know where her crib is," the woman said folding her arms. The turtle nodded packed Michelle to the stairs that led up; the girl waved her mother who waved back.

It did probably take a longer time than usual, but eventually Michelangelo managed to get his new little friend to sleep. Michelle was very energetic, almost as much as the two fun-loving ninjas. The usually M-wearing turtle now knelt by the crib, watching the child sleep.

 _Man to be so happy and content, not a care in the world,_ he thought. _Not tainted by the evil things that… that are out there._

Michelangelo was mostly back to his old self again, thanks in parts to Michelle and his own counterpart. However, when alone or when he thought he was alone the naked turtle remembered the five months. Much like Raphael, he could remember all the details but had been unable to do anything, having been under the control of a chip that dictated all his actions.

Much like so many victims of mind-control the shame of inaction welled up inside of him. The turtle knew he couldn't have done anything, yet felt that he should have at least tried.

* * *

 _Ex-emperor Donatello examined the head of the turtle in front of him critically. Michelangelo just stood motionless in front of him, although deep inside he was wishing the former overlord far, far way._

 _"Well at least I've managed to get you to stop screaming in panic spontaneously," Donatello grunted. "But that blank look is not a desired side effect either."_

 _"Let's see how the motion control work, walk around the lab," the olive-green reptile ordered._

 _Protesting as much as he would in his mind, the ninja's body didn't obey him. The turtle was soon walking around the lab, almost looking normal, but his eyes were still blank and unfocused._

 _"Alright stop, this will have to do for now. Stand outside and make sure your brother doesn't wander in here. I would hate having to electrocute him again," the ex-emperor ordered him and pointed to the lab door._

 _Inwardly gulping Michelangelo stepped out and took position outside. It was a big red room, in one corner was a cell, but the door to it was not in view from his vantage point. The turtle wondered if Raphael was in there, recovering from another seizure attack._

 _"Damn, bloody good for nothing…" he heard a voice come from the other exit to this room. That door opened and The Demolisher came walking through, after him he dragged his own counterpart._

 _'Oh no.' Michelangelo winced but he couldn't speak or do anything. All he could do was watch his half-unconscious brother being dragged to the cell and be thrown inside of it._

 _'Bastard.' The mind-controlled turtle watched hatefully as the blood-red masked turtle left the room._

 _However, the door didn't remain closed for long. Bursting in came the third dark-green turtle, the dent on the plastron, the scars on the shoulders and arms identified him as Leonardo._

 _'Leonardo…' Now the once M-clad turtle grimaced. His brother cried bitterly and sunk down in the furthest corner of the room._

 _Michelangelo so wanted to go over there, comfort his brother, but the chip forbade him, kept him in position. Even so, there were certain functions it couldn't control, a tear started to crawl down his cheek, as he watched his broken sibling in the corner._

 _For the third time someone entered the room from the other exit. This time the turtle was basic green and only wearing black shorts. Michelangelo inwardly growled when recognizing the assassin who was looking into the corner Leonardo was in._

 _The scarred ninja had frozen when seeing who had come, the sobs disappeared in his throat and he all but hugged the wall now._

 _"Jeez Pretty Boy, I go to the bathroom for five minutes and you decide to play hide and seek?" the normally black-masked turtle smiled nastily and approached his prisoner._

 _'You creep… leave him alone!' Michelangelo so wished to run over and deck his brother's tormentor._

 _"Come along now, we weren't quite finished now were we?" The assassin grabbed Leonardo's arm and forcefully pulled him up. The scarred turtle tried to struggle but was nonetheless dragged towards the exit._

 _"No… please…no…" Leonardo cried. He tried to claw at the wall and kick at the floor but to no avail. The other turtle hardly seemed to notice the struggles and managed to drag him out of the room._

 _Michelangelo was boiling with rage even if nothing showed outside. It only intensified when hearing Leonardo scream in panicked begging._

* * *

"Hey dude." A bluish-green hand gently shook the dark-green ninja.

"Huh?" Michelangelo looked up to see his counterpart standing there grinning.

"You looked a little zoned out," Mikey told him. "You okay?"

"Huh… yeah." the naked turtle looked at the crib; Michelle still slept sucking at the corner of her blanket.

"Just… you know, thinking about the…" he looked down at the floor sighing.

"Hey it's alright dude, you are all still recovering." His friend smiled and patted him on the shoulder. Then the bluish-green ninja, pointed towards the stairs with a thumb. "How about we go raid the kitchen for something to chomp on?"

"Sounds good to me." Michelangelo rose to his feet and the two turtles headed downstairs. In the living room the two Aprils were sitting on the couch and talking, the older woman had a tea cup while the younger one had a mug of coffee.

"Hey guys, Michelle sleeping?" younger April looked up when spotting the two Michelangelos.

"Yeah, took a little time to calm her down, but all asleep now," the dark-green turtle reported grinning.

"That's good, thank you dear." Ex-empress April smiled back nodding.

Michelangelo and his counterpart ducked into the kitchen. They immediately began searching both the cupboards and the fridge. Soon they did find some snacks to munch on and sodas. Mikey darted out for a minute to grab comics from his own luggage.

Meanwhile the dark-green ninja set things up for them on the kitchen table. Once the bluish-green turtle returned with the books, the two turtles sat down and began eating their treats while reading.

"Say uh, where are the others?" Michelangelo asked, looking up from his comic for a second.

"The Donnys, Casey and the Cyborg are working on the battle-shell I think. The senseis are meditating, the Leos went hiking as usual and uh I think the rest of the Raphaels were walking too." Mikey had to think for a second, he didn't say where the women were since they knew already.

 _Ah bummer, why did I pick the one where Doc Dome got mind-controlled?_ The dark-green ninja frowned a little when realizing which issue he was reading, having already spotted that one when going previously through his counterpart's stash of comics.

 _Poor guy, forced to attack his own friends…_ Michelangelo sighed softly, Mikey didn't notice as he was so sunken into his own comic book.

* * *

 _"Raphael… I'm scared," Michelangelo cried. For once he was in the cell with his own brother. The turtle was sometimes put in there too but never knew why._

 _"Me too… me too," Raphael whispered, he lay up against the wall, disoriented after his latest seizure attack. His brother sat next to him, clinging to his arm, but at the moment the usually red-wearing turtle could offer no comfort to him._

 _Michelangelo didn't care, at the moment all he needed was to be with one of his siblings. Most of the time it was Raphael since they sometimes shared the cell. Leonardo was seldom available and none of them could approach Donatello, least they risked being torn apart by their own brother._

 _"It's… going to be alright Michelangelo." Raphael reached up to pat the crying turtle on the cheek. "It's going to be alright… we'll get out… somehow…"_

 _"I watched that creep use you for a punching bag… I wanted to stop him… but that damn thing inside my head." His brother hugged the arm tighter._

 _"Yeah I know… don't… don't worry about me Michelangelo…" The once R-clad turtle gingerly used his free hand to touch the plastron; it still smarted where he had been punched._

 _They both looked up when seeing Leonardo standing in front of the plastic door. The scarred ninja had both his hands on it and the front of his beak was like clued to it. The turtle was crying._

 _His brothers immediately forgot about their current pains and jumped to their feet. Then they pretty much glued themselves as well to their prison door. Raphael gritted his teeth and began hammering his fists on the hard thick plastic. Michelangelo just stood there, crying much like his brother on the other side._

 _"Oh isn't this cute," a cold voice said, suddenly the assassin stood right behind the scarred ninja. Leonardo froze up and his eyes bulged out. The other prisoners also stood shocked and unable to do anything._

 _"I told you Pretty Boy, stay away from there," the black-masked turtle growled and put a hand on Leonardo's shoulder and roughly pulled him back._

 _"Leave him alone!" Raphael shouted and hammered his fists harder on the door. The assassin ignored him and kept pulling his own prisoner away who this time didn't resist._

 _"Michelangelo, shut your brother up!" Ex-Emperor Donatello appeared from the side and seemed to be prepared to operate the wall panel._

 _'NO!' Michelangelo cringed when the order activated his chip. The turtle's features changed quickly into a sneer and he grabbed a strangle hold on Raphael and threw him away from the door._

 _"Ow… damn that chip!" Raphael landed harshly on the wall, banging his head up against it. He sunk to the floor rubbing the sore spot gingerly. Michelangelo stood over him sneering and quite prepared to attack him._

 _Once Raphael might just have tried to subdue the mind-controlled turtle but now he just stared sadly up at him. A force field appeared between them and the plastic door opened._

 _"Come out Michelangelo, time for more tests," ex-Emperor Donatello ordered._

* * *

Michelangelo shook his head to try to ward off the memories. He was finally on the right track of recovery; the turtle was not going to mope around. His trip hadn't gone quite unnoticed; his counterpart was now watching him concerned. The bluish green ninja put his book away, staring intently at the dark-green one.

"You wanna talk?" Mikey asked.

"I… just remembered how sometimes… I was ordered to restrain my brothers… Raphael or even Leonardo…" Michelangelo sighed and fiddled with the comic in his hands.

"Did it happen often?" His friend wondered and inwardly he shuddered. Remembering when he himself had been told to attack his own brothers.

"Few times." The dark-green turtle confessed. "Especially when Raphael and I were in the same cell or back when Leonardo still was… still was brave enough to try something…"

"Just wish I could have… fought it… done something…" Michelangelo put the comic book away.

"Yeah I know what you mean. I tried fighting it when he controlled me, but he did something then that powered up the chip even more," Mikey told him.

They looked up when hearing a distant cry. Both turtles looked up to see out of the kitchen window and spotted where Donatello stomped across the driveway, visibly upset. Don came running after him shortly later, but the olive-green turtle stopped for a second, turned around to shout something to someone out of sight. Then the purple-masked ninja ran after his counterpart.

"Guess he broke something again." Michelangelo sat down again.

"Yeah, wanna go see him?" his counterpart wondered, but the dark-green ninja shook his head.

"Your bro can handle it… besides now when he breaks something… he doesn't want us around, he feels so guilty not remembering anything," the naked turtle said with a sigh.

"Guess amnesia can be both a good thing and a bad thing." Mikey frowned a little.

"Maybe I'll just switch comics," Michelangelo picked another issue; one he was sure featured no mind-control.

"Sounds good." His friend chuckled and resumed reading as well.

However, they didn't do it for very long, suddenly the dark-green ninja put away his book again and looked deep in thought. Mikey noticed and looked up; wondering what was on the other turtle's mind.

"Can I confess something?" Michelangelo looked at his counterpart, looking half-shameful and half-embarrassed.

"Fire away," the bluish-green one smiled.

"It's probably silly… I mean I know I'll have to say goodbye to her eventually. But I haven't just been playing so much with her and taken care of her… just because she is a fun kid." the naked-turtle sighed and looked down.

"I think it's safe to guess you're talking about 'Ellie," Mikey guessed, using the nickname the ninjas used on Michelle. His counterpart nodded slowly.

"I just want to protect her… be there for her… because now I can." Michelangelo glanced at his friend now looking more embarrassed. "Told you it was silly."

"No it isn't." The other ninja waved it off grinning. "She is a little kid, needs lot of attention and I'm sure her mom appreciates the help she's getting. Michelle is quite a handful already."

"Yeah but… you're the one who is officially her uncle… not me," Michelangelo said sadly.

"Eh I'm sure the cyborg and the other April doesn't mind you being her uncle too," Mikey chuckled, that made the other turtle smile slightly.

"Y-you really think so?" the once M-Clad turtle asked, suddenly feeling a bit excited. Perhaps he could go and ask them.

"No doubt about it and speaking of witch…" his friend eyed towards the kitchen door when a distant baby cry reached their ears. "Looks like someone wants up and badly."

"I'm coming Ellie!" Michelangelo sprang to his feet and raced for the exit.

"Hey wait for me! She is my niece too!" Mikey shouted laughing as he ran after his counterpart.

In the living room, two surprised women watched the two energetic turtles charge up the stairs. The older April slumped back down to the couch when it was evident that her daughter was going to be tended to. She looked at her younger counterpart, both chuckling softly.

"Why do I have a feeling that Michelle has eight uncles now and not just four?" ex-Empress April wondered.

"I have no idea where you got that idea." The other woman smiled. Even though it was clear that the Michelangelos tended the most to the little girl, the other six ninja turtles were very attentive to the girl.

Upstairs everything went silent and when hearing a childlike laughter and two more adult, the women guessed the Michelangelos were managing quite well. The Aprils thus just resumed their previous discussion.

 **End Michelangelo**


	3. Donatello – The burden of change

**A/N:** Chapter originally written and posted on 04/01 2010

* * *

 **Donatello – The burden of change**

Don found his counterpart striking a tree close to the woods. The olive-green turtle stopped for a moment observing the event. Donatello almost madly kept chopping at the bark, a sneer on his face, tears in his eyes and muttering something in a quiet voice.

"Donatello." The purple-masked ninja risked going closer to his naked counterpart, the tree was starting to lean and would crash at any minute.

"I should not be this strong! I don't even feel anything when I'm hitting!" The upset reptile kept on going, striking the tree with his hands.

Don folded his arms and waited. He knew better than to try to restrain a turtle that was much stronger than he was, especially when said reptile was upset. Soon the tree fell crashing down and his counterpart stood seething over it.

"Feeling better?" the olive-green ninja asked and took a step closer.

"No." Donatello slumped down to the ground and sat up against another tree. He pulled his legs up and put his arms on his knees.

"Look, you didn't break anything important. It's a simple welding job to get that bar right again. It needed to be re-enforced anyway," Don crouched down beside him, speaking gently and soothingly.

His counterpart hardly remembered anything from his five month imprisonment. The turtle had very early on been injected with some sort of formula that had driven him mad. Donatello had then grown in both strength and size, not recognizing anyone except as enemies, lashing out even at his own brothers.

Don had managed to cure his mind but his counterpart still possessed incredible strength and was now two inches taller than his brothers. He was also bulkier and both his shell and skin were denser than normal.

Thanks in parts to his memory-loss Donatello had mostly reverted to his old behavior. He was often found with or without Don fixing things around the farm. Nevertheless, like his brothers, the once D-wearing turtle was affected by what had happened to him. His increased strength had made him rather sensitive and self-conscious about it. If he broke something, especially accidentally, the ninja could get terribly upset.

"I broke a solid steel bar without even trying…" Donatello whispered.

"A solid steel bar that is being welded back into place as we speak," Don assured him.

With the help of the cyborg and Casey, the two ninjas had been working on the Battle-Shell. Don had decided since they weren't going anywhere for a while, he might just as well give the armored vehicle a tune up. Donatello not surprisingly had been drooling over his counterpart's large gadget laden truck, and jumped at the opportunity to work on it.

The cyborg for the most part replaced a much-needed jack to lift the car. He did so easily enough so the turtles had very easy access under it. There Don wanted to reinforce some of the protection he had placed for the gas-tank. As they worked, Donatello had grabbed a bar that was under the vehicle on his way to stand up. The steel bent and visibly cracked when the ninja heaved himself up.

At that point, Donatello stomped off, crying out in frustration, having yet again broken something with his strength. Don shouted to Casey and the cyborg to fix the break while he went after his counterpart.

The purple-masked turtle realized, despite his reassurances, that this couldn't be very easy on his counterpart. The dark-green turtle was essentially learning all over again how to interact with his environment. His added strength had essentially been thrust upon him and he never given any time to really adapt.

"They say I'm the luckiest… because I don't remember anything… I don't feel lucky," Donatello snorted; he had lowered one hand and was using it to finger a small twig the ninja had picked up from the ground.

"I realize this must be very difficult for you Donatello. We probably should start testing around with your strength, get a feel on where your limits are," Don said. "Raphael, the cyborg should be able to help us with that."

"I just wish I just could get rid of it." His counterpart glared at the muscles on his upper arms. So far he had made no signs of this subsiding, aside from his beak that had reverted mostly to normal.

"Come on, let's see how the others are doing." Don patted him gently on the shoulder and made a gesture back to the farm.

With a heavy sigh Donatello nodded and reluctantly rose back to his feet. The two turtles walked back towards the farm. On the driveway they could see the Battle-Shell and both Cyborg Raphael and Casey Jones near it. The man lay flat on his back and wielded a welding-torch; the mechanical turtle was making sure the vehicle was lifted high enough so the human could work.

"Hey there, feeling better?" The cybernetic reptile noticed the approach of the two Donatellos.

"I guess." The once D-clad turtle shrugged.

"The bar all fixed?" Don asked and decided not to tell about the tree.

"Almost," Casey reported cheerfully.

"If people of Turtleland could see us now, me the big bad second in command of the old Empire and a guy who looks almost exactly like Arnold Jones the Rebellion leader working together." Cyborg Raphael laughed.

"Ya know, I'm still getting over it that my counterpart was a Rebellion leader in his world." The human rose up to sit and lifted up the face protection. He gestured to the mechanical one with the now unlit torch.

"Hey, I'm still disturbed to know that my double was a genocidal emperor." Don chuckled. The cyborg was shaking his head smiling.

"Well the bar is welded and reinforced, don't think anything more can be done with that one," Casey said and started to rise up. The cyborg lowered the vehicle carefully back down.

"How about we take a break, I don't think our minds are much on work right now." The purple-masked one suggested, glancing at his dark-green counterpart who did not seem very interested in continuing.

"Sounds good to me, I'm starving," Casey started to put the various tools away.

"Probably should fuel myself a bit with organic nutrition." the Cyborg nodded, he noticed that the dark-green turtle had started to wander off. "And Don you might want to run after him."

"Whoa, well he's definitely still a ninja." Don had been a little preoccupied watching Casey with the tools and thus stepped closer to the man. He immediately headed after his counterpart whose direction was now the barn.

"Poor guy." the mechanical turtle shook his head watching as the two turtles continued onward. Don hadn't made any attempts to stop his counterpart, simply walked beside him now.

"I thought he didn't have any memories of what happened," Casey mentioned scratching his head.

"Maybe not but that can be a torture in on itself. He's also is not used to being so extremely strong." Raphael looked at the human; the organic part of his face was thoughtful. "I might just have to help him a little with that. But come on, let's get something to eat."

* * *

"And then it decided to blow and the force sent me flying to where the guys, Splinter and April were hiding," Donatello chuckled.

Don had decided to distract his counterpart by asking him to tell him about his various inventions. Now the dark-green turtle was telling him about the first time he used something he called explosive surikens.

"Where you hurt?" the olive-green one inquired, but the other ninja shook his head.

"Just bit sod and dirt covered, I was standing far enough away," the once D-Clad reptile told him. They were now walking beside the barn.

"Explosive surikens, how did you fit a powerful enough charge on that?" Don asked, his mind working on hundreds of theories already.

"That was not easy and I didn't have much of those charges, so I couldn't make very many. Some of the technology I used was from when we first had to deal with the Technodrome, figured why not use Krang's stuff against him," Donatello told him. "But I also got some stuff from our Neutrino friends."

"You can bet I didn't make any of those charges anywhere near the lair," the naked turtle continued. "The charges themselves I fit on the middle, it was mostly made of special crystals the Neutrinos gave me. They were so potent that before I managed to make a proper casing, the surikens turned black."

"Crystals, why am I not surprised it were crystals," Don muttered when hearing what the main component of the explosive charge was. His counterpart looked at him confused.

"Eh, we've been dealing a lot with crystals between facing the assassin and other enemies." The purple-masked turtle chuckled and proceeded to tell him some of his own adventures.

"Wow," was all the dark-green one could say. They stopped on their walk before reaching the woods.

"I still have some of those explosive geodes. Casey has allowed me to store them in the barn. Maybe we could use them in similar manner and you did with those crystals." Don became thoughtful.

"You want to make explosive surikens?" Donatello raised an eye-ridge a bit.

"Well the idea behind them I must admit sounds silly, but I really honestly shouldn't talk. Considering what I have seen and experienced," his olive-green counterpart said with a shrug.

"Eh." The dark-green turtle shrugged not sounding very interested at all. Don mentally snapped his fingers; he had hoped that maybe the potential of working on an old project might cheer the naked ninja up. It always cheered him up.

A distant cry caught their attention. It was coming from somewhere in the woods. The two turtles frowned, looked at each other before darting towards the sound. They knew Leo and Leonardo went hiking occasionally in there and sometimes even the Splinters sought some peace and quiet in it. The farmhouse was quite crowded after all.

The turtles did have to run through the trees for a bit before finally reaching for the source of the sound. However, it was neither reptiles nor rodents who were in distress, but two humans. Two boys, maybe ten or eleven years old probably from a nearby neighboring farm had been playing in the woods, but disaster had struck, cutting the play-time abruptly to halt.

One boy was stuck under a large tree trunk and was unconscious. His leg was clearly broken and there was blood on the ground. By the look of it, the tree had fallen on top of the kid. The other had apparently been climbing in some rock formations and the rocks crumbled all around him, he was stuck but conscious.

"Better call April and tell her to get help." Don frowned and grabbed up his shell-cell. He was not too worried about being seen right now, nobody was around for a quite a distant and the kids probably not in much condition to realize that their imminent rescue was going to be handled by giant turtles.

Donatello was debating what to do. Clearly, the large heavy trunk had to be removed, but the boy stuck in the rock had to be dug out as well. He didn't look too injured, just stuck.

"Okay April is going to call the local authorities, let's try and get that trunk off first," Don said and rushed over to the fallen log. First he made sure that doing so would not further harm the kid under it.

"Right," the dark-green turtle quickly followed. Fortunately, there was a small space between the boy and the log so he wasn't completely stuck. Most likely he had broken his leg and hit his head when falling. With a heave the two reptiles managed to pick up the trunk and remove it, the kid stuck in the rocks had now noticed them and just stared slack-jawed.

"Its good a thing he's unconscious, we better splint the leg!" Don said and began removing his belt. "You go and try and dig the other kid up."

Donatello nodded and turned to where the rock formation was. The boy had already managed to wiggle most of his own body out, only his legs looked stuck; his clothes were all torn up in the process. Unfortunately, a large boulder on top of what was left of the formation was beginning to shift.

"Oh no!" the dark-green ninja gasped.

Don looked up when he saw his counterpart dart off. The olive-green turtle glanced towards the rocks and his eyes bulged out. The huge rock was starting to tumble down threatening to crush the boy still stuck there.

 _Oh no._ The purple-masked one realized he could never be quick enough to react. The other turtle had already moved off the moment the boulder had started to slide. The kid now noticed his immediate danger and screamed.

Don couldn't watch and closed his eyes, but a thud and a grunt caused him to open them again. A huge wave of relief washed over the olive-green ninja. Donatello had been quick enough.

The dark-green ninja had managed to grab the boulder using his carapace. Now the turtle stood hunched with the rock on his back like some reptile version of the ancient titan Atlas holding the sky up. However, even with his newfound strength it was clear the weight was very heavy for him.

Now Don came running and quickly he dug up the boy and pulled him away. With a groan, his counterpart let the large boulder slide off his back and then the dark-green turtle sunk down to sit by it.

"I guess… being extra strong… has its advantages too," the naked ninja wheezed.

Don made no comment; he was checking the shocked boy for any injuries. But that kid had been very lucky, aside from bumps, bruises and torn clothes he was alright. He made no protests, just stared at the large turtle almost dazed.

"Guys?" April, her counterpart and Casey arrived on the run.

"Over here April!" the olive-green turtle waved them. The women ran over to the turtles, while Casey checked the unconscious boy that Don had finished mending the best he could.

"There is a rescue squad on its way; we will wait here with them. You two better get out of sight," the younger April said.

Don nodded and rose up, he helped his counterpart stand up and the two turtles hurried back towards the farm house. As the two reptiles disappeared, the conscious boy looked at the two women now sitting with him.

"Who were they?" he whispered, still in daze.

"Let's just say, two guardian angels with shells," the younger April said with a smile. "But let's keep it between us. They do not like too much attention."

* * *

"Well that was one way to get some excitement," Don commented as he and his counterpart reached the barn.

"Yeah." Donatello stopped and looked back towards the woods.

"The kids will be okay, the unconscious one was not as badly injured as I thought he was and the other was fine," the purple-masked turtle told him, planting his hand on the other ninja's shoulder.

"That kid could have died," the dark-green turtle whispered. Slowly he looked over his shoulder to glance at his counterpart. "That rock, it would have crushed him. It would have crushed him before any help would have arrived."

"But help did arrive," Don reminded him.

"Yes I know." Donatello looked at his hands, they were shaking and first now did he notice that his carapace stung.

"You look a little scraped, but nothing looks broken." The olive-green ninja examined at the dark-green turtle's back when seeing the slight pained grimace come over him. "Looks like the changes in your body served you well."

"They… guess they did." Donatello frowned a little. He clenched and unclenched his fists for a moment.

"We can talk with the cyborg, he can help us get a good feel how strong you are and how it's best to behave," Don told him.

"Guess it is an idea." his counterpart nodded and looked at the olive-green turtle. Suddenly he smiled.

"You know… Raphael and I… we never were that big on the whole hero thing back in our world. Leonardo and Michelangelo were the ones all for helping others… but sometimes I had to wonder why bother, considering the flack we sometimes got it just never felt worth the effort," he said.

"But saving that kid, using the strength that was thrust on me by enemies, sort of felt right. They forced it on me, just so some crazy version of Raphael I don't even remember could get a fight."

"Indeed, just like when you used this Krang's own technology against him, changing what was a bad thing into good." Don nodded and smiled in turn.

"I… I never thought of it that way." Donatello's eyes widened when hearing that, then he chuckled weakly. "Well now I feel stupid."

"Come on, we better get inside, no telling from where the rescue squad comes to pick up those kids." the olive-green ninja chuckled and the two counterparts hurried towards the farmhouse.

 **End Donatello**

* * *

 **A/N:** The explosive surikens actually only make one appearance in the 80's toon, the final episode of the Second season and only one actually appears. It's pretty powerful actually and knocks a giant hole on the thick armor of the Technodrome.

And yes I realize the ending is a little cliché with 80's-Don realizing he can use his strength for good by helping others, and rescuing someone using his new found strength. But meh, had to have him do something

There are no flashbacks, because well, 80's-Don doesn't remember anything.


	4. Leonardo – the burden of memories

**A/N:** Chapter originally written and posted on 08/01 2010

 **Warning: This chapter touches on both sexual abuse and and other torture.**

* * *

 **Leonardo – the burden of memories.**

Leo watched his counterpart doing a kata that required only a single sword. The dark-green turtle seemed quite immersed in it; a great deal of concentration was on his face. The ninja was almost dancing with the weapon.

They had been doing this for a while now, going deep into the woods and there the recovering turtle would do some katas. Sometimes it was without swords and at other times with one or two, borrowing them from his counterpart. Leo served mostly as a spotter for him, seeing if there was any rust in his movements, occasionally they would spar.

"You did that left swing a little slowly," he shot in after a bit. The scarred turtle made no reply, just seemed to adjust him self a bit and continued.

The basic-green ninja crossed his arms across the plastron and leaned up against a tree. He had so far gotten over his previous worries that his appearance made Leonardo uncomfortable. Nevertheless, there was still some lingering fear that it might change, that he would do something that might remind the dark-green ninja of his tormentor.

The assassin had so viciously abused Leonardo; it was almost a miracle that the scarred reptile hadn't gone insane. It hadn't been the first time the two crossed paths. The once L-wearing turtle still bore the physical mementos of his first encounter with their black-masked counterpart. The scars on his shoulders and arms, a deep dent on the plastron, it was all just a cruel reminder. But they were nothing compared to the mental scars he then suffered after the second encounter.

Leo had been at loss at first how to help his counterpart. For a while it had seemed the dark-green turtle had completely locked himself up, given up and just existed. It had turned out later that the ninja had wanted to talk, but just not with his brothers. The blue-masked turtle had been bit surprised to learn that at first. Then he realized that Leonardo was protecting them, letting them heal on their own, he felt they didn't need to be burdened with his vicious memories on top of all that.

Finally the scarred ninja finished the kata and came to a halt. The turtle lowered the sword and glanced at his counterpart. Leo rose from the tree and walked closer to him, but he made sure there was always a slight space between them. Leonardo did not need to feel cornered.

"Aside from that swing, you did well," the basic-green turtle nodded with smile. He accepted the sword back from his counterpart.

"Thanks," Leonardo whispered rubbing his right arm with the left hand, though it looked more like he was warding something off with it.

"Want to do another? Or maybe spar?" Leo inquired, knowing the reason why his counterpart was rubbing his arms. The naked turtle was subconsciously trying to ward off invisible, intrusive hands. It was very important to try to get his mind off it, often with some activity.

"Yeah sure," Leonardo somehow managed to force his arms down and bowed and the basic green one did the same. They then both got into unarmed battle position.

The dark-green turtle struck first, but his counterpart easily blocked the blow. Leo retaliated but the other ninja ducked it and backed off a bit. They circled one another for a second before both charged at the same time, for a moment they simultaneously blocked and punched but never scoring a direct hit.

* * *

 _He really did not want to be in this embrace. But he had no strength to fight it; all he could do was cry and whimper. The strong arms held him very close and the turtle was actually rocked gently back and forth._

 _"Shh, it's ok, it's ok," his tormentor whispered, gently kissing him on the crown._

* * *

Leonardo sneered a little and shook his head. He barely managed to side step as his counterpart made a strike with his left hand. The dark-green turtle frowned and crouched quickly, trying a dragon tail kick.

Leo saw it and jumped high, flipping in the air and landed behind the other ninja. He in turn did a roundhouse kick but Leonardo was already in the process of rolling himself away.

* * *

 _He screamed in pain but was hit repeatedly. A chain that hung from the ceiling tied him up. No matter how he tried to struggle it didn't break. Another hit and this one was so hard that his cries nearly choked him._

 _"I hope I don't catch you doing this again Pretty Boy," his tormentor stepped up in front of him, growling and coiling up a black belt, he had been using as a whip on him. Then the black-masked turtle delivered a hard punch on his head._

* * *

Leo frowned a little when seeing the dark expression his counterpart sported as he rose up. However, it quickly vanished and was replaced by a concentrated look. The blue-masked turtle wondered if the dark-green one was remembering something.

Leonardo tried to block the memories out; he charged preparing for a strike. But his opponent quickly bent backwards to avoid it. He grabbed the outstretched arm and flung the smaller ninja away.

* * *

 _He was pinned down, couldn't move even if he dared. The turtle just stared up in panic and fear, wishing this was over._

 _"You have been a good boy now, Leonardo. Very good," his tormentor bent over and started to greedily kiss him on the beak._

* * *

 _Dammit,_ Leonardo stopped for a moment and looked to be in pain. Leo frowned and wondered if he should call of the match.

But his counterpart recovered from whatever it was and came for another strike. The blue-masked ninja blocked it and sweep kicked, the dark-green reptile jumped back.

* * *

 _Yet again he was pinned down, screaming in pain and agony. The oppressive weight, the stabbing pain, the turtle was starting to wish he was dead._

 _"It can stop hurting," his tormentor hissed in his ear, but all he received were painful sobs and begs of mercy._

* * *

Leo could definitely see it now. His counterpart was remembering and was remembering badly, but the basic-green turtle was unsure if calling off the match would be a good idea. Leonardo seemed to be venting and perhaps this sparring would help him with that.

Leonardo gritted his teeth hard and tried to block out the painful memories. With a cry he charged again punching and hitting, his counterpart for now simply blocked it all never striking in turn.

* * *

 _"Shh, don't cry," his tormentor whispered, gently caressing his cheek._

 _He tried to ignore it both the soothing voice and the gentle hold he was in, but it was really hard, his body cried out for comfort, it was in pain and just wanted to relax. But his mind battled harder, repulsed by this all but could do nothing._

* * *

Leo finally added slight offense to his tactics. Quickly crouching and trying a sweep with his leg. Leonardo was in so much rage that he didn't see it and was thrown off his feet.

He quickly rolled away and jumped back up. His counterpart was already standing again, ready and waiting. The dark-green ninja was breathing hard now, a sneer on his beak and fury in his eyes.

* * *

 _He was curled up in one corner, crying bitterly, arms around himself and the face buried in his knees. But suddenly he was uncurled and forcefully pulled up. He doesn't struggle and let's himself be dragged towards the bed._

 _"If you don't stop sneaking off like that I am REALLY going to hurt you!" his tormentor snarled and threw him violently on top of the mattress._

* * *

Leo ducked the blow, the other ninja looked really pissed off now, but the basic-green ninja still didn't call off the match and he was starting to wonder if he even could if he wanted.

Leonardo suddenly screamed loudly before striking several times hard and fast. The basic-green ninja barely managed to either duck or block them.

* * *

 _He just let it happen now. What was the point of struggling? Nothing he would do would help; all that happened was pain and more pain. Best just let it be over with._

* * *

Leonardo roared and punched. He cringed when his balled up fist struck something really hard. The ninja blinked and seemed to wake up from a trance. His balled up hand had hit a tree. Leo had barely managed to pull himself out of the way, but was not quick enough to stop his counterpart.

The dark-green ninja staggered back. He glanced at the blue-masked ninja who was ready for anything. Leonardo looked back at the crack on the tree and then slumped down to the ground, sitting there looking lost and confused.

"You alright?" Leo crouched down beside him.

"I… no… I'm not alright." the scarred turtle stifled a sob. Tears shimmered in his eyes. The right hand slowly rose and began rubbing the left arm. "T-they are still… still so strong."

"It's alright, just let it out," the basic-green turtle said gently and patted his friend on the carapace. For a while nothing came out of the other ninja but the sobs, the tears flowed freely down his cheeks.

"The worst parts… were when he was nice… made me feel good and comfortable… only to rip it all away later…" Leonardo whispered drawing his legs up to the plastron and hugged them tight.

"He tortured me by letting my brothers be in my sights, but I could never go to them… I was punished every time I tried… no matter how I begged and pleaded… he would never give me permission to talk with them," the dark-green ninja buried his face in his knees and cried louder.

Leo couldn't do much but offer his silent support. It was pointless to keep reminding his counterpart that at least he was out now and it was all over. Leonardo knew it was over, he knew he was free and knew his brothers were safe. However, the memories that tormented him didn't care; they were still there haunting him, reminding the ninja what he had gone through.

The basic-green ninja wondered if the scarred turtle would ever fully recover from his abuse. He still had nightmares, vicious ones that sometimes woke him up screaming and begging. It took his brothers sometimes hours to calm him back down and even when their Splinter stepped in, it still took time.

Leonardo all of the sudden leaned up against his counterpart and wrapped his arms the best he could around the other turtle. The blue-clad ninja blinked in surprise and got suddenly even more shocked when the dark-green ninja rubbed his head up against him.

"Whoa, Leonardo!" Leo grabbed for the arms around him and pried them off. His counterpart's eyes opened almost as if he was waking up from sleep, the turtle looked confused and then seemed to realize.

"GAH!" Leonardo threw himself back; he was shocked himself and looked both embarrassed and terrified at the same time.

"Leonardo?" His friend rose up slowly, never taking his eyes of the dark-green ninja who had curled up again and shivered.

"You thought I was him didn't you?" Leo asked calmly and tried to keep his voice as unlike the Assassin's as he could. It took the turtle on the ground almost a minute before he slowly glanced up, tears flooding down his cheeks, nodding.

"Leonardo, be honest, has it happened before. That I remind you of him?" the blue-masked turtle asked, so far the dark-green reptile had always assured Leo that he didn't remind him of his tormentor.

"Look Leonardo, it is alright if you admit it. Remember when I told you when my brothers and I had to deal with the assassin? I couldn't sometimes look myself in the mirror, my current mask is new, my old one got black from some sooth when I was helping Don fine tuning the Battle-Shell. I freaked out so much that I burned it," Leo told his counterpart but didn't approach just yet. He had to make sure the other turtle didn't mind him nearby.

"I-It's just so… embarrassing," Leonardo finally spoke. "I know… you're not him… he has this… presence… the way he walks, the way he talks… you don't."

"But your mind still plays tricks on you, it's alright," the basic-green one assured him. "It happens; I have to live with it every day that I share both his face and voice. I don't like it but there is very little I can do about it."

"I just… thought I was finally getting better." The dark-green turtle sighed and let his hand slowly sink to the ground. He looked up towards his friend sadly. "And… to answer your question, yes you have reminded me of him sometimes."

"I was starting to suspect," Leo nodded and crouched down, still keeping space between himself and the other ninja.

"But not very often," Leonardo then added, surprising his counterpart slightly. "In fact this was only the third time."

"When were the other times?" the blue-masked turtle asked.

"Back when I first saw you, in your family's lair," the scarred reptile sighed. "For a little while I was almost positive you were him in disguise. Until I had seen you walk and talk for a while and realized you lacked the… presence… he has."

"I can't do much though in that regard. Except never wear black," Leo confessed. That actually caused Leonardo to chuckle weakly.

"Leonardo I can't promise you that I won't accidentally remind you of the Assassin again. However, I can promise that I will never hold it against you and I will understand it if you need me to back off. Now that I know that I can remind you of him, I think I'm in even better position to help you," the blue-masked ninja then told his friend and smiled slightly.

"You've already helped me so much… not sure how I can ever repay you," Leonardo said sighing slightly.

"You don't have to think about that. I made a vow to bring your brothers their brother back, and I intend to keep that one." Leo rose up and offered his hand towards the dark-green turtle. His counterpart hesitated slightly, before accepting it and he was heaved up to stand.

"How about we head off back to the farm now, I think this is enough for today," the basic-green ninja suggested.

"Yeah, I think I need to clean up anyway," the other one glanced down, his body was covered in dirt, grass and leaves. He started to dust off the worst.

The two turtles then disappeared away back to the farm. Leonardo had to admit feeling slightly better now, but he didn't fool himself. The once L-wearing ninja still had a long way to go and this had just been another slow step in the healing process.

 **End Leonardo**

* * *

 **A/N:** I really had to struggle with this chapter due to the subject it touches on. Especially since I knew I would have very little choice but to have some flashbacks, since that's one of the many points of this story, the 80's-Turtles, or at least three of them, remembering what was happening to them.

Then I realized I didn't need to have full flashbacks instead just had them in short segments, only briefly showing what was going on in there without going into explicit details. But this is by far the darkest of the memory chapters


	5. Splinter – The burden of two worlds

**A/N:** Chapter originally written and posted on 10/01 2010

And here is the final chapter of this particular Tale. This one focuses a bit more on the two Splinters.

* * *

 **Splinter – The burden of two worlds**

Splinter had prepared himself for this. He knew it would happen and the old gray rat already knew who his counterpart was. The old sensei had after all heard the origin of Raphael and his brother's from the formerly R-wearing turtle; he hadn't spared any detail in his tale.

The ninja master also knew that his counterpart would be busy once arriving. The brown rat would be reuniting with his sons, finally meeting them after five months of having no idea where they were. Thus the gray furred one couldn't in any good conscience allow himself to be affected or approach him about it.

Brown furred Splinted indeed became busy the moment he met up again with Donatello. They had been inseparable for the duration of the time they had been in the lair and on their way to the farm. The dark-green turtle couldn't tell him much except how he and his brothers had been abducted. It landed on Don, but mostly the cyborg who still had Raphael's memories, to give a more detailed account on what had been going on.

Once on the farm, the off-world sensei had then been happily reunited with his other sons. They hardly left his side the first three days or at least always kept him in their sights. The brown furred one wasn't much different; he too could hardly let himself lose the sight of any of his sons. He would then sit in a meditative position by their bedsides when the dark green turtles slept.

But now the turtles were beginning to scurry around the farm with their respective counterparts. Thus the brown Splinter seemed to relax a bit and started to socialize more with the others. Magistrate Raphael then revealed how Ninja Master Donatello had found their world so quickly. It turned out that the old traveler Raphael had when rescued, contained a five months old entry. It seemed that had been the traveler the Assassin used to arrive in the letter wearing turtles world.

Gray furred Splinter was though relieved not to have to approach his counterpart about this until now. It had given him time to further reflect on it and the opportunity to see how the other rat behaved and if he would show any familiar signs.

He had been mildly shocked to learn from Raphael that not only had his Splinter once been human, but he had been Hamato Yoshi. Essentially the brown-furred rat was not just his counterpart, but the double of his own beloved master. It was mind-boggling and the old sensei had spent many hours meditating on this.

It made him further glad that he had first met Splinter's sons before meeting him. But he could only wonder, was that name only a nickname for him? Would he actually prefer being referred to as Yoshi? After talking a little bit more with Raphael, he learned that his counterpart preferred his newer name. He considered his human part as the past and would no longer dwell too much on it.

Having now the information he needed and what he had learned from observing his counterpart, grey-furred Splinter decided to finally approach the other rat. The brown one was meditating upstairs in the farmhouse and his sons were as usual scattered around with their new friends.

"Ah, greetings Splinter," the brown-furred rat opened his eyes when the other one arrived upstairs. He sounded so much older and definitely looked to have aged much. The gray-rat wondered how much of it was because of the five months of not knowing where is sons where.

"I hope I am not disturbing your meditation," gray Splinter said. They had so far not meditated together yet.

"I was just finishing," his counterpart assured him. "I must apologize to you my host for not being a better guest."

"You were finally reunited with your sons, there is no need to apologize," the other sensei assured him in turn, knowing that brown Splinter was referring to the first few days when he was nearly always with his sons. "It must have been very difficult for you."

"It was. They always were getting themselves into various troubles, but always managed to pull through them in the end. But after five months of nothing, I was almost afraid that I would no longer see them." The sitting rat looked down, sad expression crossing his face.

"It was then that I truly realized that they were not just my students or my wards. They were my sons and I loved them as any father would. The prospect of never seeing them was terrifying," the brown ninja master continued.

Gray Splinter got seated himself as he nodded. From Raphael the elder had learned that the usually letter-wearing ninjas had a much looser father/sons relationship with their sensei. He was their surrogate father but they never portrayed it as strongly. The once R-wearing turtle had become very ashamed of admitting that and had confessed that if he were to see Splinter now, he would call him father and not sensei. Because that is what the old brown rat had always really been.

"I'm not sure how to truly thank you and your sons for helping them. For bringing them back to me." Brown Splinter looked up.

"It was more than welcome," the gray rat said smiling kindly. "The Assassin had struck few times against my family as well. We could not in good conscience allow him to get away with this atrocity."

"Ah yes, my sons did mention something about it to me," his counterpart nodded. "They also told me that our beginnings are quite different."

"Indeed they are," gray Splinter nodded in confirmation, silently glad that this had been brought up now. He had been unsure how to go about it. "If you wish I can tell you our story, I have already heard yours."

"I would be honored to hear it," the other sensei nodded.

Splinter prepared himself for a short while before beginning to tell the different origins of his and his sons. The brown rat listened without commenting or showing much except the occasional thoughtful frown.

"This is definitely different," brown Splinter muttered when his counterpart had finished. "I… am sorry I did not know… that I am also the double… of your former master."

"It was strange for me to hear it from your son. But I've had time to meditate on it and prepare myself, because I knew we would meet in the end," the gray rat told him. "But I was unsure how to go about approaching you about this. Because I felt we shouldn't keep it secret."

"Of course and I do appreciate that you waited before bringing this to my attention," the brown furred ninjas master nodded. "I am sorry for your loss, by what you have told me, my other counterpart was an honorable man."

"I always did have some affinity with the rats, when I came to New York and had to live in the sewers a poor man they kept me company. Until the turtles unexpectedly arrived down the drain, they were my only friends," the sensei of the letter-wearing turtles confessed.

"Much like the Shredder affected your life, so did mine. He apparently feared me enough as it wasn't enough for him to chase me away from Japan in disgrace, he thought I would perish if exposed to the mutagen. Instead it changed me into who I am now."

"My sons were from start aware of my origins and in repayment for what I had done for them, they wanted to chase down Shredder and force him to make me human again. For a while that was their main goal but as the years processed we simply became content on stopping Shredder and his associates from conquering the planet."

"Yes I understand that in your world the Shredder is human but allied with an alien warlord named Krang." The grey-furred rat nodded. "Have you ever tried to regain your humanity again?"

"Only once but that was only temporary, I have not done it again after that," brown Splinter confessed. "It has become unimportant now to me. I am Splinter now and Hamato Yoshi was a past I cannot return to."

"But now that I know these differences, I feel I must ask. Has my presence made you uneasy?" he then inquired. It took a moment for the gray-furred rat to respond.

"I will not lie; if you had come here as Hamato Yoshi and not as Splinter then I would have been a bit at unease. I believe it helped me get used to things quickly that you now carry the appearance of a rat. If you had been human I am not sure if I had as easily accepted it," gray Splinter confessed.

"When I was a normal rat I may not have understood it back then, but now I've always thought of my beloved master as a father. In many ways he was, he fed me and cared for me and I was happy. I still feel the sorrow when I remember his murder at the hands of the Shredder," he continued.

"But I have meditated, reflected and then observed. It has made me realize more that I cannot fault anyone for being who he is past or present. We have already learned so much of other worlds thanks the Magistrate and his family, of the many different versions that exist of both us and our sons. Now I honestly can say that I feel privileged to have met you and your sons." Gray Splinter finished and smiled.

"I am glad to hear that I do not trouble you. It has not always been so easy to be of two worlds. Once I was able to walk the streets unhindered but later had to remain hidden. It was a hurdle that was not easy to overcome, it was mostly thanks to my son that I in the end fully accepted what had happened to me," his counterpart said nodding.

"Our sons were definitely something good that happened in our lives," the gray-rat chuckled slightly and rose up. "How about I go and get us some tea."

"That does sound good," the other ninja-master nodded. He considered going with him, feeling he had been upstairs long enough when one of his own sons came climbing up the stairs.

Gray Splinter nodded to the ninja before descending down. The turtle's height and muscular built clearly indicated this was Donatello. The formerly D-Wearing turtle walked over to where he and his brother's usually slept, it happened to be very close to where his father was now sitting.

"Are you alright, my son?" the brown rat inquired after the turtle lay down. The four letter-wearing turtles had originally taken the beds, but after a while, four mattresses had simply been put into one corner as the recovering ninjas wished to sleep closer together.

"Just a little soar sensei." Donatello was on his plastron, there were scrapes on his carapace that had been mended. "Don and I ran into two kids in the woods that had an accident. One was almost crushed by a rock; I barely managed to grab it."

"So your newfound strength has done some good?" Splinter nodded smiling, the turtle shrugged slightly.

"We have to stay inside for now though, there is a rescue crew coming for the kids," the turtle then said.

"Just going to crash down for a little while, since we can't go out anywhere for a bit," the voice of Raphael came from the stairs. Soon the once R-clad turtle appeared. He smiled weakly at his sensei and bowed slightly after coming closer.

"Did you have a good walk Raphael?" the brown rat inquired.

"Yeah, also got to muck a little with Raph's sai," Raphael nodded and sat down on the mattress beside Donatello.

"That is good," his father nodded. "Some exercise while you still haven't returned to your training is good for your body."

"And how is our rock turtle doing?" Raphael then nudged gently at his brother's carapace. "Heard what you've been up to."

"Why do I have a feeling I'll be hearing that nickname for a while," Donatello groaned and eyed his grinning sibling. "I'm fine, just a bit soar after grabbing a mountain."

Raphael chuckled and lay down with hands behind his head. He had only recently arrived back from the lake with the Magistrate and Raph. The turtle glanced at his brother again who was already dosing but his attention was brought back to Splinter when Michelangelo arrived.

"Master Splinter I have some bodacious news." The fun-loving turtle was kneeling in front of their father.

"What is it Michelangelo?" the old rat wondered.

"The cyborg and April, his wife April that is not the other one, said I could be Michelle's uncle," Michelangelo announced sounding really exited.

"Two Michelangelos as her uncles?" Raphael raised his head a bit. "That's going to be one messed up kid when she grows up."

"Oh ha, ha!" his brother snorted and stuck out his tongue. "For our information, I asked for you guys too. You are now her uncles as well."

"Gee, thanks," the usually R-Wearing turtle chuckled.

"Well I am very happy for you Michelangelo, you and Michelle have become very good friends." Splinter congratulated his son.

"Speaking of the little nibbler, where is she?" Raphael wondered, usually the girl was in his brother's company.

"With the cyborg," Michelangelo answered and looked back as someone was coming. The remaining brother was ascending up. "Hey Leonardo."

"Hey." the scarred turtle approached his family; he knelt down in front of Splinter. "I… I had another episode Splinter."

"The burden of your memories is great Leonardo," Splinter said and gently put a hand on his son's crown. "But at least you have your family now around you to aid you as well as your friends."

"You are all still healing and recovering." The old rat decided to use the opportunity since his sons were all present, even though Donatello was slumbering by now.

"You all have the different pain burdening you but it is slowly chipping away. Raphael, I know you still feel guilty and that you feel you should have done something more. But what you have accomplished is having your brothers freed and gaining new friends." The brown rat looked at Raphael who smiled a little uneasily.

"And Michelangelo, the shame of inaction is still heavy on you. You do not show it too openly and you rather have fun again instead of dwelling on it. But always remember, you have nothing to be ashamed of, you could not help it that you were no longer in control." Splinter put his other hand on Michelangelo's shoulder; the fun-loving turtle grinned slightly.

"And we must all support Donatello in his new form. He is taller now and stronger and it bothers him more than he shows. He may not remember those torturous months but he suffers never the less. Changes can weight heavy on a person, especially if they are so viciously thrust up on them." He glanced over to where his intelligent son now slept; the other ninjas did so as well. Raphael reached to gently pat the once D-wearing turtle on the carapace.

"And you Leonardo. It pains me greatly to know how viciously you were abused." Now the old one turned to his scarred son. Leonardo's expression was solemn.

"I had hoped that you would never have to face this assassin again. However, that was perhaps a fool's hope. You will always carry the memories of what he did to you and there is little we can do about that. But you are already showing that you refuse to let him win, he does not control you and already you are so much stronger." the brown rat smiled now warmly at him.

"Thanks father," Leonardo whispered now smiling normally. "He… will not win."

* * *

"Sensei?" Leo entered the kitchen and saw the grey rat sitting by the kitchen table.

"Ah Leonardo, come join me." The elder smiled at his basic-green son and gestured him to sit.

"I was preparing the tea for me and my counterpart, but I have a feeling I better wait a little before taking it up to him," Splinter explained as the blue-masked turtle got seated. He poured his son some tea.

"Yes, Leonardo wanted to talk with him after cleaning up." Leo nodded.

"And not just him, I have a feeling his sons needed his company after today's various events." his father sipped on his tea. "Michelangelo was given some good news by Cyborg Raphael and Donatello was involved in a rescue effort in the woods and Raphael wanted to take a short nap since we must remain inside for now."

"They are all starting to improve; the biggest hurdle is for Leonardo. He has much to overcome… he had a bit of an episode in the woods," the blue-masked turtle drank from his own cup. He had a thoughtful expression. "You know sensei… I have often been worrying if I remind others of the assassin. But I just remembered something, what I heard Raphael tell Don back in the lair."

"If you are referring to that my counterpart is also the counterpart of my master Yoshi then you needn't worry Leonardo. I have already spoken with him about that," Splinter told him and smiled wide.

"I was already prepared for it when he arrived; it was only a matter of how to touch on that subject once the chance came. But we managed and I've come to realize that in some ways he does grieve Yoshi as much as I grieve mine," the old rat continued. He noted his son's confusion and thus kept explaining.

"Their Shredder intended to murder Hamato Yoshi with the mutagen that transformed him into Splinter and mutated his sons. In many ways, Shredder did accomplish what he set out for; he murdered Hamato Yoshi leaving only Splinter behind. My counterpart can't anymore walk in public; he must life in hiding with his four sons much as we do."

"My counterpart considers his life as Hamato Yoshi now over, it's in his past and he is now Splinter. He may deep down still long to be able to walk among humans again, but he also knows that is no longer possible," Splinter finished.

"So in some ways regarding your origins you are similar," Leo rubbed his chin in thoughts. His father nodded.

"But I've also decided to not let it bother me too much that he could also be considered the counterpart of my old master. I cannot fault him for that and he does not need such worries, he's already suffered enough both at the hands of his old enemies and at the hands of the assassin who robbed him of his sons for five months," the elder added.

"It weren't just his sons who suffered those months." The turtle sighed and shook his head, Splinter agreed.

Don entered the kitchen, after greeting those sitting at the table he went straight for the coffee maker. Shortly after him came Mikey. The orange-masked turtle went for the fridge and started to rummage through it. Then Raph arrived as well.

"Seems like the place to hang out," the red-masked one grunted when seeing his brothers and father in the kitchen. "The cyborg is letting Michelle nap on the couch. The Magistrate is watching the TV. Casey and the Aprils haven't arrived back just yet."

"Guess they are trying to make sure none of the rescue crew come too close to the farm." Leo nodded.

"How is your counterpart Donatello, I met him as I was going down." Splinter looked at Don who was impatiently tapping his foot by the coffee machine, he had apparently not had his coffee fix yet.

"Well the boulder he caught managed to scrape his carapace so it does answer the question if something can harm him or not. However, nothing was broken so it should heal quickly. He was feeling a little soar, but considering he just crabbed a falling rock I'm not surprised," the purple-masked turtle answered. "He is still adjusting though to his strength. We are hoping to start some tests with the cyborg to get a feel of how strong he is and all that."

"Michelangelo is doing good, but sometimes he looks down. I think he's still a little bummed over the whole thing. He just doesn't show it when others are around or he thinks nobody is around." Mikey rose from the fridge having found nothing worth eating in there.

"Finally got Raphael to open up a bit about what was done to him. Man I really want a second round with the Demolisher now," Raph growled and told them briefly about what his counterpart had told him and the magistrate.

"He used him as living punching bag?" Don grimaced. Mikey cringed and the others looked grave.

"You know, knowing now what they have been through; you think they will ever really recover sensei?" the red-masked turtle looked at his father. "I mean, one of them might probably get over it for the most part but the other three…especially Raphael and Leonardo."

"They have still indeed a long way to go before their full recovery. But they have now been reunited with their father as well as they have been given full support of new friends." Splinter looked at each of his sons.

"I have no doubt that they will recover because they are already recovering. They have been shattered, thrown apart and spread around. Then one of them escaped, allowing us to start the process of gathering the shattered pieces of him and his brothers back together. Now with their father they have truly began mending and it is only a question of time before they become whole again."

"And we will continue to help them." Leo nodded and so did his brothers.

 **The End**


End file.
